Wonka Word Wednesday (5/30/12)

Wonka - (noun) - chocolate.  Wonka, not to be confused with the last name of Willy Wonka, is commonly used as a replacement for the word chocolate.  Due to this awe-inspiring ability, wonka is commonly used to make recipes sound more wonkalicious.  Common usage includes but is not limited to: wonkachips (chocolate chips), wonka-cream (chocolate ice cream), and wonkacake (chocolate cake).  In other words, wonka is used instead of chocolate because it recognizes the true author of the most enjoyable substance known to man.  Wonka can be used in any situation referring to chocolate; however, in order to preserve the good name of Willy Wonka, wonka should only be used in referring to higher quality chocolate.

Example - “What the Wonk!  We are out of wonka!”, Krutawn fumed as he feverishly scanned the pantry.

Note - As with most WonkaWords, wonka is greatly enhanced by the prefix “Willy-” or “William-” however, if the word is being spoken it can cause great confusion.  While common wonkarers are characterized by their wittiness, they lack an overall ability to discern WonkaWords in context.  Therefore, adding “Willy-” or “William-” to the beginning of “wonka” should only be in written form and should only be used when referring to Wonkalicious wonka.

More WonkaWords...

Wonka Word Wednesday (2/1/12)

“What da Wonk!” - (expression) - Easily the least used WonkaWord for its importance, “What da Wonk!” is primarily used in situations of fear, pain, or utter hopelessness.  The reason for its extreme under-use is the difficulty common wonkarers have in saying it correctly.  Proper pronunciation involves speaking the phrase slowly in a monotonic warble.  Go ahead, try it! “What da Wonk!” is by far the most situation specific WonkaWord and therefore its utter rarity is to be noted; however, whenever “What da Wonk!” is heard in public it either draws great compassion or extreme confusion, causing the hearer to not recognize its existence.  While this is a serious problem for most wonkarers, it is also the reason behind the creation of this list of WonkaWords--to promote the subtleties of Wonkessence.

Example - Upon walking into the dark and spooky house, Krutawn declared, “What da Wonk!”

Note - Unlike most WonkaWords, “What da Wonk!” is not enhanced by the prefix “Willy-” or “William-” however, it still should generally be followed by one or many exclamation points.  Also, it’s important to note that “What da Wonk!” should not be confused with “What the Wonk!”, which is used in situations of disgust and anger.

Variations - “Oh my William!” (expression), “What da Wonk Tonk!” (expression)

More WonkaWords...